But, like every other human being in this world, I have moments of weakness in which I doubt the goodness of the destination at the end of my road. I have moments of significant fear and worry. I have moments when the suffering seems to be too much and with no end in sight. I have moments when I feel my suffering is in vain, purposeless. In these moments, I feel my faith wavering, and there is a great temptation to withdraw from God and hide inside myself.
However, in the past few weeks, I've felt really empowered to do something different. In the midst of a very difficult time in my life, I have been given the ability to, instead of shrink under the pain, seek and find strength in God's truth. It has required me to, in several ways, change parts of my every day life, because it is through a new way of handling myself in suffering that I am able to see hope and hold on to the truth of Romans 8:28. Every day I have to choose to crawl to God instead of allowing my mind and heart to be filled with darkness and despair.
As I have sought to find peace in the midst of my trouble, I feel I have come to understand a huge part of the purpose and benefit of human suffering:
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know they are good for us -- they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us" (Romans 5:3-4).
"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy..." (James 1:2)
Basically, what I see in these verses is that suffering is necessary to bring us into the fullness of joy. As Switchfoot puts it, "the shadow proves the sunlight." Suffering is beneficial because, not only does it strengthen us and mature us, it leads us to true satisfaction in God and the expectation which will "not disappoint us." So much pain comes from disappointment in earthy things--not even sinful things, necessarily. Earthly securities, relationships, and pleasure disappoint us, and it is through these disappointments we are able to embrace something which will never, ever disappoint us. It can, and will sustain us. Every day. Even when it's hard. Even when it hurts.
According to John Piper, suffering is "governed by God for the purifying of our faith." I find this especially true in my life right now. In my desperation I reach out to God like I never would (never could) in happiness and comfort.
"Of late God has been pleased to keep my soul hungry almost continually, so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain." - David Brainerd
Cool thought of the day: "All who cast themselves on God find that they are carried into endless joy...' - John Piper, Desiring God
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